How to get pregnant – Tips for couples

How to get pregnant – Tips for couples

You’ve been thinking about building a family and are finally making the leap now? Congrats, great news! Get ready for a time full of anticipation, hope, and deep connection for you as soon-to-be parents.

Pregnancy is a very special time in a couple's life, and it can be very demanding, especially for the mother. Therefore, it’s important to prepare for the phase of conceiving a child together. 

We, as  LoveLane team, would like to provide you with some fundamental steps and information that can help you increase your chances of having a baby and conceive.

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Planning Pregnancy Trying to conceive

What are things you should consider before the pregnancy? What are important topics for the mother? How about the father? We have gathered the most important information for you to prepare for pregnancy.

Preconception Examinations before you get pregnant

One of the first steps in preparing to get pregnant is a medical check-up. This ensures that both of you are healthy and have no underlying medical problems that could affect fertility. Additionally, it gives you professional guidance and individual counseling for your situation. Prospective parents should both undergo an examination.

Discontinuing Birth Control Pills and Co.

Probably clear but…just to be sure: you should stop taking hormonal contraceptives, such as birth control pills in order to get pregnant. Women should be mindful to do this in a timely manner, as it may take several months for the menstrual cycle to normalize. Gynecological advice is essential here, as discontinuing hormonal contraceptive methods can often lead to unpleasant side effects.

Vaccinations before trying to get pregnant

There are vaccines that should not be administered during an existing pregnancy. Therefore, consult a general practitioner before trying to conceive to check and update your vaccinations.

Alcohol abstinence

You should stop consuming alcohol when attempting to get pregnant. Alcohol has a negative effect on fertility for both men and women. It is considered a toxic substance for cells and can cause menstrual disorders and impair egg maturation in women. In men, alcohol consumption affects the quality and quantity of sperm. Furthermore, it slows down sperm, which can hinder the chances of getting pregnant.

Smoking and pregnancy

Before you try to get pregnant, you should definitely consider stopping smoking. Cigarette smoking significantly reduces the likelihood of conception, as it can also cause menstrual disorders and, in some cases, the absence of ovulation. In men, smoking reduces sperm quality and quantity. Before attempting to conceive, couples should definitely quit smoking to restore their fertility and eliminate any potential harm to a fetus. The importance of quitting smoking should not be underestimated. You’ll find various numerous cessation programs and therapy options available wherever you may be.

Things to talk about before you get pregnant

An underestimated topic before you get pregnant is discussing and agreeing on how to handle the upbringing of the child and family planning in the future. It is important to clarify who will take on which responsibilities in the house and regarding childcare. Here are a few topics that you should discuss:

  • Both partners should challenge themselves and each other to check whether they feel capable of taking on the role of a parent and the great responsibility that comes with it.
  • You should discuss and divide the responsibilities for the care and upbringing of the child. For some couples, creating a schedule can be helpful.
  • Take a look at your finances and the financial security of your future family. This includes considering who spends how much time in their job.
  • Agreeing on parenting methods and goals should also happen during the planning phase to avoid surprises and disappointments in the long run that could impact the child.

Tips for getting pregnant

The journey to getting pregnant is a very individual process that requires time, patience, and attention. It is often overlooked that every person and everybody is unique, so it is important to understand your own body and fertility. 

Stress and pregnancy

A very common question is: How to get pregnant fast? It is understandable that you can't wait to hold your new family member in your arms. However, we recommend approaching family planning with a calm mindset and avoiding creating pressure and stress for the expectant mother as much as possible. Studies suggest that increased stress levels may have a negative impact on fertilization, resulting in a failure to conceive. Engaging in various exercise programs and relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation can help calming feelings of pressure and stress. By taking care of your own mental stability, you create a healthy foundation for your future parenthood.

The menstrual cycle

Each woman's menstrual cycle follows a unique rhythm, so it is essential to observe the cycle of the expectant mother. You can do this by tracking and noting the length of the cycle and the timing of ovulation over an extended period of time. The cycle starts with the first day of menstruation and ends just before the next period. Menstrual cycles usually last between 24 and 38 days, with variations being normal. If you want to learn more about the "Female Cycle and Fertile Days," we recommend visiting this.

Observe ovulation symptoms

Having intercourse at the right time is crucial to getting pregnant, so it is important to closely observe when the woman ovulates and to have sex multiple times during that period. In theory, ovulation occurs between the 12th and 14th day of the cycle as mentioned cycle variations are common, it is difficult to pinpoint an exact time. Fortunately, there are some physical symptoms and signals that can help you recognize ovulation too and increases your chances of getting pregnant.

Basal body temperature

One of the most important tools in observing the menstrual cycle is temperature measurement. This refers to taking the temperature in the morning after waking up, known as basal body temperature. Within a regular cycle, the temperature drops shortly before ovulation and then rises. This increase is minimal, around 0.2 - 0.4 degrees, so it is essential to measure accurately. Creating a temperature chart is a long-term task and requires some practice, but it can be a good method to help you get pregnant.

Cervical mucus

Cervical mucus and its consistency can indicate the current state of the cervix and whether it is receptive to conception. To check if a woman is in the fertile phase, you can take some mucus between the index finger and thumb. If it feels moist and creamy, it indicates fertility. If the cervical mucus is watery and stretchy, the woman is in the highly fertile phase, and there is a high chance of getting pregnant.

Palpating the cervix

This method can be particularly helpful for women who have little to no cervical mucus. Throughout the menstrual cycle, the opening, position, and firmness of the cervix change. After menstruation, the cervix is easiest to palpate. It is closed, firm, and hard, resembling a donut in shape. In the middle of the cycle, the cervix is slightly more challenging to feel, and it feels less firm and semi-open. During the fertile days, it sits relatively high up in the vagina, is soft, and open. After ovulation, the cervix returns to its initial stage.

Our Tip: There are numerous pregnancy calculators online that can help you calculate your fertile days, such as here

Fertility diet

A balanced diet with sufficient vegetables, whole grains, fruits and low-fat animal products has a positive impact on fertility for both genders. However, it is also recommended to have your values checked by healthcare professionals to rule out nutrient deficiencies and plan the intake of fertility supplements such as folic acid for expectant mothers.

Emotional intimacy and support

First and foremost, it is essential that the prospective parents are doing well. While physical aspects are often discussed in preparation for pregnancy, the mental aspect is equally important. Talk to each other, share your hopes and dreams, as well as your fears and concerns. Your world is about to be turned upside down, and you are not alone in this. By supporting each other and communicating openly, you can build a strong foundation that will help you overcome the challenges of this journey together.

In addition to talking to your partner, it is also important to seek support from your social network. Friends, family, or even professional counseling services, can be a valuable resource to support you during this emotional roller coaster. There are also specific support groups and online forums on topics such as pregnancy, how to get pregnant, conceiving etc., where you can connect with other couples and benefit from their experience and advice.

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Getting pregnant at 40+

In today's world, more and more couples are choosing to delay their family planning until a later stage in life. This can have various reasons, such as career goals, personal development, or waiting for the right person. But what happens when the wish to get pregnant arises at the age of forty or later?

It is best to seek advice from medical specialists in advance if you have a late desire to have children and, if necessary, undergo examinations, both for women and men.

Fertility of women in old age

The number of eggs decreases with increasing age, and hormone production can fluctuate. These factors may reduce the likelihood of pregnancy at an older age, but it is important to note that they do not automatically lead to infertility. After all, a single egg is sufficient for successful conception. To be on the safe side, consider an ultrasound or hormone analysis to assess the egg reserve. Freezing eggs (social freezing) would definitely be an idea for women who want to postpone pregnancy. Freezing the eggs preserves their original quality and allows for fertilization at the desired time.

Fertility of men in old age

When it comes to the topic of fertility at a later stage, the focus is often on women. However, the age of the man can also play a significant role. Recent studies have shown that the quality and quantity of sperm decrease with age, and thus the fertility as well. Complications for the child and mother can be increased too, such as premature birth or gestational diabetes. Men with a late desire to have children are also advised to consider freezing their sperm for later.


Remember that every couple follows a unique path, and there is no one-size-fits-all recipe for success when it comes to getting pregnant. Prospective mothers and fathers may face various challenges or circumstances that can influence the possibility of conception. It requires patience, self-care, and medical support to find your individual  path to fulfilling the desire to have children. 

Be there for each other during this time and pay attention to what you need as a couple, but also as individuals. 

As LoveLane, we wish you the best of luck and hope that your dreams of getting pregnant and becoming parents will come true soon.

These articles might also interest you upcoming parents: Becoming parents staying a couple

Relationship problems after childbirth: How to make it work!

This blog post contains general information about getting pregnant and is not intended for self-diagnosis, self-treatment, or self-medication. It does not replace a visit to healthcare professionals.

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Meet the Author

Heike Kraft

Far too often, couples break up, not because they're not a match... but because they don't have the right "tools" to resolve their conflicts. As the founder of LoveLane, I want to help couples love more consciously and appreciate each other more. In the last few years, I have built many different digital products, including a self-coaching app. Through my training as an integral coach and from personal experiences, interpersonal relationships have become even more important to me. I'm really excited to be able to bring these two areas together at LoveLane and help couples love more.