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Relationship break: When does it make sense?

You are in a committed relationship, you don't want to break up but you feel that the emotional burden is too great? If you have been in your relationship for a while and feel that it's not what you imagined, taking a break from the relationship may be just what you need right now.

The uncertainty of a breakup can be very scary for many couples. The question arises: Isn't this the beginning of the end? Are we not moving further away from each other rather than closer? Don't worry, breakups can happen, but they don't have to. Here are 7 scenarios in which taking a break is wise!



You have doubts about your relationship

Over time, doubts can creep in: you feel like the relationship is not what you imagined, that it's too demanding or stressful and you no longer want this type of relationship. You're not happy and can't imagine a shared life with your partner. Taking a break from the relationship can give you the opportunity to decide what would be best for both of you.


So, if you're not ready for the commitment of a serious relationship, a break can help you take a step back and clear your head. If it's been a while since either of you was completely sure that this is what you want - maybe even from the beginning - then some questions or doubts may linger because no matter how perfect someone may seem at first glance, sometimes people change their minds and realize that they may not have been exactly what they thought.

Your partner no longer makes you feel loved and appreciated

If you feel like your partner no longer loves or appreciates you, taking a break from the relationship can provide both of you with a much-needed emotional break. If you are behaving more like roommates than lovers and it bothers you, take time to reconsider things. Distance can be a healthy catalyst for new perspectives in the relationship. When you come back together, the things that bothered you may no longer seem as important.


It's not always a given that someone will end a relationship after having an affair. In some cases, it can be helpful for both parties to take a break and clarify things for themselves before making a hasty decision to end things together. Sometimes an affair can be the final straw that leads to reconciliation. A loss of trust can often lead to a breakup despite the efforts of both partners to restore marital harmony.

You're afraid of missing out

Your twenties and thirties are the age for exploration, so if you're afraid your relationship is holding you back from that, it may be time to rethink the relationship. But of course, you shouldn't make this decision lightly. It may be worth discussing with your partner how the routine has made life a bit too predictable for both of you and what can be done to balance things out. But if you feel that taking a break from each other is the only way to explore different areas of life, communicate your expectations clearly.

Your love is not realistic

Do you love your partner for who they truly are? Or have you created a false version of them and the relationship in your head? If so, you may need to take a break from that person. We see TV shows and Hollywood movies about perfect couples who live happily ever after, which of course leads many people to desire the same in real life. While the idea is beautiful, it is also a myth that causes many unhappy relationships and makes you believe that happiness must come from an external source rather than self-acceptance and the personal strength to be happy no matter what happens in your life.

You constantly argue with each other

You and your partner are stuck in a vicious cycle of arguments, fights, and conflicts that never seem to end. This is not good for either party - the tension it creates will only cause more problems. If the conflicts don't seem to be ending, then it might be a good idea to take a break. Breaking things off, hoping to give each other space, will work wonders - you'll have room to reassess perspectives and see how much happier life can actually be when both parties work together instead of against each other.

The relationship is not a priority

Healthy relationships require a lot of effort. We need to make time for each other and be there for each other, but we also have careers and interests outside of the relationship. If you can't give your relationship enough attention or if it takes precedence over everything else in your life every day, then it might be best to step back from this part of things so that you can come back stronger than ever with renewed energy! It's important for your partner to understand this freedom you need to get your life back on track too!

How long should a break in a relationship be?

The length of a relationship break depends on the reasons for the break. Four to six weeks is an average value, but each case should be considered individually. The break should definitely not be too short, as it makes no sense to hope that your partner will change themselves and their behavior within a few weeks or even months. However, if you are going through difficult times together, maybe a week can already work wonders.

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Meet the Author

Heike Kraft

Far too often, couples separate not because they are generally incompatible, but because they do not have the right "tools" to solve their conflicts. As the founder of LoveLane, I want to help couples love more consciously and value themselves more. In recent years, I have built various digital products for businesses, including a self-coaching app. Through my training as an integral coach and personal experiences, interpersonal relationships have become even more central to me. I am thrilled to be able to bring together these two areas of expertise at LoveLane.