You have already met on a first date and quickly become closer. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you gave it a name and talked about a relationship?
Even if you call the new man/woman in your life your boyfriend/girlfriend, they still need two people. What should you do if they have no idea what they want? This can help you assess whether the chances for a relationship are good.
Why doesn't he/she know what they want? Possible reasons!
Cause in childhood
If a man/woman doesn't know what they want, there could be several reasons. First, early childhood attachment anxiety could develop. The ability to be serious will deteriorate if he/she has no constant caregivers or good experiences.
Cause in past relationships
Even if one is older, significant events such as infidelity in a previous relationship can cause him/her to have no clear idea of what they want. If the fear of loss is stronger than the desire for a connection, then a close relationship may be avoided. A lack of self-esteem makes it difficult to engage in a relationship and leads to uncertainty and fear about how he/she feels.
The unlimited possibilities in partner search
Another reason why he/she doesn't know what they want could be due to the endless possibilities of finding a partner. Another possible explanation: We have more freedom in love than ever before.
Some men/women find it difficult to focus on the actual problem because they are thinking about who is best suited to them. So, if he/she doesn't know what they want, as is the case with many people, he/she reacts by blocking contact with the woman/man he/she has just met.
5 tips on how to deal with this type of man/woman
If he/she doesn't know what they feel, talk to him/her:
Talk openly with your partner about your concerns and fears and make it clear that the situation stresses you out. Is he/she just your last resort or is there perhaps hope for an explanation for the condition? There must be clarity in this area.
Take away his/her worries
Is there something else at play? Do you think he/she simply doesn't want a relationship with you? Perhaps everything is moving too fast, and the unusual closeness and love overwhelm him/her, so he/she doesn't know what he/she wants.
Take a step back and give him/her his/her own space so that he/she doesn't get scared of his/her feelings in the situation. He/she will understand that you don't want to take over his/her whole life, but that you want to be a part of it in this way.
Give him/her a sense of security
He doesn't know what he/she wants? Relationship anxiety can be caused by feelings of inadequacy. If you believe that your partner is not at peace with himself/herself, try to show him/her how much you appreciate him/her.
Cut off contact for a certain period
If, after all else, he/she still doesn't know what he/she wants and continues to withdraw, a ban on contact or a temporary separation could help clarify the emotional climate.
Sometimes a little space can help calm things down. But be careful: the effect can also be negative for you if the man/woman doesn't miss you, but instead enjoys his/her newfound freedom.
Emotional blackmail and too much pressure won't get you anywhere, so stock up on tissues if he/she doesn't know what he/she wants. Genuine feelings cannot be forced, and a relationship based on guilt or pity will fail from the start.
When a man/woman doesn't know what he/she wants: When is it time to make a clear statement?
At least when you and his/her behavior become a real burden for you and he/she makes you unhappy, he/she should take a stand. Does he/she really not know what he/she wants, or is he/she simply not interested in entering into a committed relationship?
You will quickly lose interest in your family, friends, and acquaintances if you are always on standby, not to miss any encounters with your future partner. A contact ban can be useful if he/she doesn't know what he/she wants.
In summary: If he/she doesn't know what he/she wants, you have to accept it!
If the problem doesn't change despite open conversations and/or a short period of time, it is only advantageous to make a clean break. It may be hard to accept, but a man/woman who cannot commit to you clearly after the initial phase of getting to know each other is probably not the partner with whom you can build a pleasant, equal relationship.
So, before you waste your time with a man/woman who doesn't know what he/she feels, draw a line.